Lacquer Princess
by coquelicotte
Summary: Edward and Emmett were brothers on the run until they met their girls. Now, Edward reflects on the current stagnation of his life with Bella, and his failure to yet keep his promises. A One-Shot with potential to grow. Please enjoy.


I grinned as I watched her on the balcony, legs propped on the cheap metal railing, the black paint chipping. My Bella looked content as she dipped the thin brush into a bottle of bright red polish; I can hardly recall a moment where I saw her nails not painted in some shiny shade or another. I liked it that way, though. I knew the liked painting them but a part of me knew she did it for me, too. My girl was always doing little things for me, styling her hair a certain way, wearing those jeans I love on her, fixing my favorite foods. It made me want to do all the big things for her and more, but I couldn't and it killed me, and she knew it. She was so strong and brave. Much braver than me, no matter how many muscles I had. My girl was something special that's for sure, too special for me. She had dreams and opportunities to chase them, too, but she loved me, said she wouldn't leave me. I tried to let her go, tried to push her to follow those dreams, just like her dad did, but she said she couldn't be without me. Like I said, she was strong, and stubborn, and once she decided on something she wouldn't budge. I knew it was wrong of me to be so happy, to be the reason she was turning down a comfortable future doing what she truly loved, but every time I brought it up she would just giggle at me, telling me what really loved was painting her nails with all those pretty colors she chose. I could see her big brown eyes sad every once in a while, but I was too selfish to do much more than bring it up every once in a while, instead of really reasoning with her. I can't lie and say there isn't a part of me that's scared shitless that one day she'll really take off and do what's really right for her, god knows I wouldn't- no, couldn't- try to stop her.

As I sat on the kitchen counter, I cut into an apple as I thought about how me and my girl got here. Bella always told me to reflect and stuff, so I was trying to heed her advice. She was a senior in high school, when we met but I'd graduated already, the first of my family, which was really only my brother, and was about two or three years out of school when I first saw those pretty brown eyes of hers. Sure I'd been with girls about her age, maybe even younger but I felt different when I looked at her. No, it wasn't any of that love at first sight crap, but it was something. _She _was something. My brother Emmett and I had been doing the rounds, if you will, but I made him stop the car right in the middle of the street and I jumped out, right up to the fence where she sat on the other side, reading a book. I startled her a little I think because her cheeks turned that crazy gorgeous pink color I love. We chatted for a little bit, made some plans to meet up after her school day was over but then she had to get back to class. I waited at the café across the street, feeling different than I ever had in my life. Emmett seemed worried, she was the daughter of a pretty big deal cop around town, but I wasn't worried. The guys we worked for…they kept us safe and secret as long as we did their business efficiently and did it good. And we always did.

From that day on, Bella was everything to me. As corny as it sounds, and I didn't give a damn about how corny it sounded, that little girl was my only purpose to keep going. Sure, the guys above me promised me they would help make my life good once I'd done enough for them, but I learned young not to trust many people. Of course I wanted money and houses and safety… who didn't? But after meeting this girl, I wasn't sure how much I was willing to risk to get it anymore. She was still seventeen when we met, and even though I hadn't always been the best boy around I kept my hands to myself. Something about her was almost too innocent, too good for me so I didn't push anything; I wanted her to come to me. When she turned eighteen, she seemed to break free of her little shell, but only just a little. My Bella, Emmett and I were together all the time, and he seemed to take her on like a little sister, which I was grateful for, especially when I couldn't be there with her. As the time passed on with my girl, I started hating the jobs more and more... I used to never question what I was doing or why, or even to who sometimes, because questions answered meant knowing more than you should. I never told Bella the entire truth; someone as delicate as her shouldn't ever have to hear something so ugly, but she was a smart girl and she figured everything out soon enough. She hadn't exactly pegged down what it was I really did, but just knowing what business I was in didn't please her. The funny thing is, she never seemed scared, only worried about me. Would I be safe? When would I come home? That's all she ever wanted to know, and it made my heart clench. This poor girl could be going to dinner and a movie with an actual good boyfriend, but instead she was sitting at home, waiting and worrying for me. This made me love her so much more every day.

That August when she should have been packing up and leaving for college was instead spent with her constantly arguing with her father, her heart breaking every time she had to defend me against the man who raised her ever since she was only a teeny Bella. My heart ached for my poor girl, knowing she could easily get on the right path and leave me behind, chase after something good. But she wouldn't hear of it. The fighting got to be too bad, too much to live with every day. When I would hold her, she was too tense and I hated myself because I knew it was because of me. Fighting with her father strained her so much, no matter how much I insisted I could just leave, even though I knew deep down I wouldn't ever leave unless she wanted me to. My job, if you could really consider it that didn't put her at ease either, and that's when I realized something needed to be done… My girl couldn't live such a stressful life, and no matter how much I blamed myself for her worries, I knew being a part of her life was something that I couldn't just take away from her. But what would happen to her if something happened to me? Those kinds of thoughts kept me awake at night and finally I had decided we needed to get out of there and soon. I gave Bella the option to stay and the guys I had worked for promised protection to her, in case anyone linked us together. She didn't even blink when I told her, though, adamant about being with me wherever I was. It wasn't hard to convince Emmett either and soon the three of us were driving. We stopped in a lot of cities, some good, and some bad. Most of them we just drove through.

It was around Carson City that we finally settled down for more than just a few nights. It was all Emmett's doing really. We had stopped at a diner/pool hall combo and he fell hard. Her name was Rosalie, wicked long legs and blonde hair that Emmett couldn't resist. The four of us played some pool after her shift was over and we found out that she was a waitress but she craved more. We offered her a spot in the car and accepted and soon it was four of us city-hopping. I was glad Bella had someone different to talk to. Even though she never complained about much, I knew she had to be yearning for a friend. I didn't ever think I could be so happy, holding my Bella from behind as Emmett held onto Rose tight on his lap. We all laughed and meshed so well together. We didn't talk about the past, only looked ahead.

The four of us decided to head to Los Angeles, even though it was really Rosalie who wanted to go there, but Emmett wouldn't deny her anything. A part of me wished he had denied her that wish, because it was there that Rosalie was offered a spot in a commercial. We decided to stay, just to see how it would pan out, and soon Rose was getting audition offers and so on. In order to pay for everything, Rose, Emmett and I got some jobs but when Emmett and Rose started talking about finding an apartment, well, I knew they intended to stay for real. Bella and I tried out living with them for a while, but the Los Angeles scene didn't really suit Bella, and living with the two of them was a little too close for comfort. With some extra cash in my pocket from the odd jobs I worked and Emmett's blessing to take the car, Bella and I drove again. There was a calm peacefulness when it was just the two of us on the road, and sometimes I wish we could just drive forever.

Finally, we made it to Alameda, still in California but we found a cheap enough place to live where only I would have to work full time. I wanted to live clean and really build us a life, but unfortunately the money didn't come as fast or as easy as it did before, but I tried to not let the money troubles show on my face. Bella realized we were in trouble eventually and tried to use her savings but I wouldn't let her, even though she slipped rent past me a couple of times. She insisted on getting a part time job, something easy just to keep her busy and I finally budged. Things got a little better but at night, after she fell asleep, I would lay awake and try not to hate myself for the whole situation we were in. My Bella deserved more than a studio apartment with shoddy furniture. I wanted to give her the world and more and it killed me that I couldn't. She wasn't materialistic, though, which only made me want to give her more, and she rarely wanted anything. The few things she did ask for I tried my best to give her, but it was hard. The job I was working had to cut down my hours and even though I searched day and night for a new one, no one seemed to be hiring. This happened to coincide with Bella's birthday and I couldn't give her anything more than paying the electric bill. I knew she hadn't been expecting anything at all, but it made me feel worthless when I couldn't give her anything to bring that gorgeous smile to her face. She should live in a palace fit for a queen and she should be able to just point and I could get her whatever her little heart desired. I felt like less than a man. She knew how I felt and so a week later, on payday, she picked out some purple nail polish. I tried to not to let my heart ache that the little glass bottle was all I could get my girl, but she seemed more than pleased with it. When we left her house back in Washington, she couldn't bring much, not that she had much to bring, but she brought her little make-up bad full of nail polishes. That night she wouldn't stop going on about how much she loved the color, but I knew part of that was for me.

My dreams were big. Maybe they were too big but I wouldn't fold until I could give that girl more than she knew she wanted. One day I would give her a big house with open windows and beautiful furniture. Maybe she could even have someone come over just to do her nails for her. Bella would be the queen in our little kingdom someday. But for now…for now she would be my lacquer princess.


End file.
